Review: Pretending by Holly Bourne

Pretending by Holly Bourne

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Published: Nov. 2020

April has lived a tragic life. She can't trust men no matter how many chances she gives them. She works with a charity where she hears more horrible stories of the ways men treat women. When it all gets to be too much, she decides to do a little experiment and be what every man wants in a woman. She pretends to be Gretel and meets Joshua. Will she be able to prove herself right or will Joshua prove to be different?

Thank you to Harlequin/Mira and Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

**TRIGGER WARNING**This book is heavy with conversations about rape and abusive relationships.

This book took me a lot longer to read than it typically takes me. I think the theme really threw me off, I wasn't expecting there to be so much talk about date rape in the book, it is heavy throughout. April is the kind of girl we all know and are probably friends with. A girl who is done with men for good until another one comes along. April takes it a step further though, pretending to be someone she isn't. A carefree girl who doesn't let anything get to her. But with this attitude, will she really be able to be in a relationship? April has a lot of issues to work out. She tries to find help with a local boxing group and therapy.

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EXCERPT

I hate men.

There, I’ve said it. I know you’re not supposed to say it. We all pretend we don’t hate them; we all tell ourselves we don’t hate them. But I’m calling it. I’m standing here on this soapbox, and I’m saying it.

I. Hate. Men.

I mean, think about it. They’re just awful. I hate how selfish they are. How they take up so much space, assuming it’s always theirs to take. How they spread out their legs on public transport, like their balls need regular airing to stop them developing damp. I hate how they basically scent mark anywhere they enter to make it work for them. Putting on the music they want to listen to the moment they arrive at any house party, and always taking the nicest chair. How they touch your stuff instead of just looking; even tweak the furniture arrangement to make it most comfortable for them. All without asking first—never asking first.

I hate how they think their interests are more important than yours—even though twice a week all most of them do is watch a bunch of strangers kick a circle around a piece of lawn and sulk if the circle doesn’t go in the right place. And how bored they look if you ever try to introduce them to a film, a band, or even a freaking YouTube clip, before you’ve even pressed Play.

I hate their endless arrogance. I hate how they interrupt you and then apologize for it but carry on talking anyway. How they ask you a question but then check your answer afterward. I hate how they can never do one piece of housework without telling you about it. I hate how they literally cannot handle being driven in a car by a woman, even if they’re terrible drivers themselves. I hate how they all think they’re fucking incredible at grilling meat on barbecues. The sun comes out and man must light fire and not let woman anywhere near the meat. Dumping blackened bits of chicken onto our plates along with the whiff of a burp from their beer breath, acting all caveman, like we’re supposed to find it cute that we may now get salmonella and that we’re going to have to do all the washing up.

I hate how I’m quite scared of them. I hate the collective noise of them when they’re in a big group. The tribal wahey-ing, like they all swap their IQs for extra testosterone when they swarm together. How, if you’re sitting alone on an empty train, they always come and deliberately sit next to you en masse, and talk extra loudly about macho nonsense, apparently to impress you. I hate the way they look at you when you walk past—automatically judging your screwability the moment they see you. Telling you to smile if you dare look anything other than delighted about living with stuff like this constantly fucking happening to you. 

I hate how hard they are to love. How many of them actually, truly, think the way to your heart is sending you a selfie of them tugging themselves, hairy ball sack very much still in shot. I hate how they have sex. How they shove their fingers into you, thinking it’s going to achieve anything. Jabbing their unwashed hands into your dry vagina, prodding about like they’re checking for prostate cancer, then wondering why you now have BV and you still haven’t come. Have none of them read a sex manual? Seriously? None of them? And I hate how they hate you a little just after they’ve finished. How even the nice ones lie there with cold eyes, pretending to cuddle, but clearly desperate to get as far away from you as possible.

I hate how it’s never equal. How they expect you to do all the emotional labor and then get upset when you’re the more stressed-out one. I hate how they never understand you, no matter how hard they try, although, let’s be honest here, they never actually try that hard. And I hate how you’re always exhausting yourself trying to explain even the most basic of your rational emotional responses to their bored face.

I hate how every single last one of them has issues with their father.

And do you know what I hate most of all?

That despite this, despite all this disdain, I still fancy men. And I still want them to fancy me, to want me, to love me. I hate myself for how much I want them. Why do I still fancy men so much? What’s wrong with me? Why are they all so broken? Am I broken for still wanting to be with one, even after everything? I should be alone. That’s the only healthy way to be. BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE. I hate men, that’s the problem. GOD I HATE THEM SO MUCH—they’re so entitled and broken and lazy and wrong and…and…

Hang on…

My phone.

HE MESSAGED BACK!!!

WITH A KISS ON THE END!

Never mind.

Forget I said anything. It’s all good.

Excerpted from Pretending by Holly Bourne, Copyright © 2020 by Holly Bourne. Published by MIRA Books. 

To learn more about this book, or to order a copy, click the book cover below:

Review: Sunrise on Half Moon Bay by Robyn Carr

Sunrise on Half Moon Bay by Robyn Carr
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Published: April 2020
 

Adele and Justine are sisters who are 20 years apart. They have never really been close. When both of their parents pass away after Adele has been caring for them for the past eight years, both sister find a big change in their lives. Adele has only been a caretaker for the past 8 years since she dropped out of school to take care of her parents and now she doesn't have any idea what she is going to do with the rest of her life. For Justine, her job is going through a merger and she's not sure she even wants this job anymore, plus her marriage is in trouble. Will these sisters be able to get back on the right path?

Thank you to NetGalley and MIRA books for the opportunity to read and review this book.

I really enjoyed this book. It hooked me from the very beginning and I enjoyed the story from start to finish. This was a family you were invested in and you wanted to see what was going to happen with these ladies.

Being a caretaker is a hard job and Adele has dedicated the past eight years of her life to doing just that. She left school at Berkley because of other issues she was having and didn't look back once her parents got ill. Now it's time to start her life and even though she and her sister aren't close, maybe this is something to bring them closer.

Justine seems like she has it all together, putting on a brave face for those in her inner circle, never letting her emotions getting the best of her. At first, I didn't like Justine, but in the end, she won me over. She is the bread winner in the family and when she finds out her husband is having an affair, you would think she would show some type of something, but it takes a while.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I've only read a few of Robyn Carr's books, but I look forward to reading more.


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Excerpt:
 “Has it ever occurred to Scott to get a serious job?” Adele asked. “I mean, forgive me, since I haven’t had a serious job in my life.” 
Justine smiled patiently. “Your jobs have all been serious, and without you we’d have been lost. If you hadn’t dedicated yourself to Mom’s care, it would have cost our whole family a fortune. We’re indebted to you. And I agree it would help if Scott worked more than part-time, but I think that ship sailed years ago. He’s only worked part-time since Amber and Olivia came along.” 
Adele adored her nieces, ages sixteen and seventeen. She was much closer to them than she was to Justine. 
“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” Adele said. “I wish there was something I could do.” 
“Well, the thing is, the future is looking very uncertain. I might need your help,” Justine said. 
“What could I do?” she asked. 
“Adele, I don’t like to push you, but you have to get it together. We have to make some decisions about what you’re going to do, what we’ll do with the house. I realize what I’ve given you for your hard work hasn’t been much, but I don’t know how long I can keep it up—paying for the maintenance on this house, the taxes, a modest income for you… I don’t want to panic prematurely,” Justine said. “Maybe I’ll be able to work everything out without too much hassle, but if I run into trouble… Money could get very tight, Addie. All those promises I made—that I’d help financially while you fix up the house, that I’d give you my half of the proceeds when and if you sold it… I might not be able to come through. I know, I know, I promised you it would be yours after all of your sacrifice, but you wouldn’t want me to ignore the girls’ tuition or not be able to make the mortgage…” 
“But Justine!” Adele said. “That’s all I have! And I was considering finishing school myself!” Though if she was honest, she had no plans of any kind. 
Justine reached out to her, squeezing her hand. “We’re a long way from me needing money. I just felt it was only fair to tell you what’s going on. If we’re in this together, we can both make it. I swear, I will make this all work out. I’ll make it right.” 
But as Adele knew, they had never really been “in it together” in the past, and they wouldn’t be for very long in the future. Addie’s dedication to their parents allowed Justine to devote herself to her career. For that matter, it should be Justine and Scott shoring each other up. At least until Justine had a better idea. But where was Scott today? Golfing? Biking? Bowling? 
Adele realized she had some difficult realities to face. When she dropped out of school to help her mother care for her father, she wasn’t being completely altruistic. She’d needed a place to run away to, hiding an unplanned pregnancy and covering her tattered heart. She’d never told her family that her married lover—her psychology professor—had broken down in tears when he explained he couldn’t leave his wife to marry Adele, that the college would probably fire him for having an affair with a student. For her, going home was the only option. 
At the time Justine and Scott had been riding the big wave and didn’t lust after the small, old house in Half Moon Bay. That house was chump change to them. So, they worked out a deal. Adele had become her mother’s guardian with a power of attorney. But the will had never been adjusted to ref lect just one beneficiary rather than two. In the case of the death of both parents, Adele and Justine would inherit equal equity in the eighty-year-old house and anything left of the life insurance. At the time, of course, neither Adele nor Justine had ever considered the idea that Adele would be needed for very long. But before Adele knew it, eight years had been gobbled up. She was thirty-two and had been caring for her parents since she was twenty-four. 
Adele, as guardian, could have escaped by turning over the house, pension, social security to a care facility for her mother and gone out on her own, finding herself a better job and her own place to live. She wasn’t sure if it was her conscience or just inertia that held her in place for so long. 
“I just wanted to make sure you understood the circumstances before anything more happens,” Justine said. “And since you don’t have any immediate plans, please don’t list the house for sale or anything. Give me a chance to figure out what’s next. I have children. I’ll do whatever I can to protect them and you. They’re your nieces! They love you so much. I’m sure you want them to get a good education as much as I do.” 
Does anyone want me to have a real chance to start over? Adele asked herself. This conversation sounded like Justine was pulling out of their deal. 
“I’ll think about this, but Scott has responsibilities, too,” she pointed out. 
“He’s been out of the full-time workforce for so long…” Justine said. 
“Just the same, we all have to live up to our adult commitments and responsibilities. And you’ve had a highfalutin job for a long time. You’ve made a lot of money. You can recover. I haven’t even begun.” 
“I need your help, Addie,” Justine said. “You need to come up with a plan, something we can put in motion. Make plans for your next step, put a little energy into this old house, make suggestions of what we should do with it, everything. Let’s figure out what to do before I find myself short and unable to help. I’m sorry, but we have to move forward.”


Excerpted from Sunrise on Half Moon Bay, Copyright © 2020 by Robyn Carr. Published by MIRA Books.

To learn more about this book, or to order a copy, click the book cover below:

April Readin' Roundup!!

Happy May my fellow readers!!  How is your Spring or Fall going so far?  School is almost done for the kids and they are starting to feel it.  This April I was able to finish 8 books.  While I read some authors that are familiar to me, the stories I read this month weren't my favorites.  Although, I did discover a new favorite.  The best book I read this month was The Girl He Used to Know by Tracey Garvis Graves.    That was the only book that garnered a 5 star from me.  I had three 4 stars, two 3.5 stars, one 3 star, and one surprising 2 star.  Here is are the books I read with a brief description.  Click on the title to read my full review.

 The Girl He Used to Know by Tracey Garvis Graves

5 Stars
Annika Rose is a beautiful woman living in downtown Chicago. She is 32 years old and she is pretty happy with her life. When she is reunited with Jonathan, her first boyfriend who had disappeared from her life 10 years ago, her world is turned upside down. She has grown so much since the last time she saw Jonathan, but she still has feelings for him. When they decide to give things another try, Annika and Jonathan learn more about themselves and each other than ever before. Will love win this time, and is Annika really different from the girl he used to know.


Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson
4 Stars
Mary Addison was nine years old when she allegedly killed 3 month old, Alyssa Richardson. Now, it's 6 years later and Mary finds herself pregnant with her own child. She doesn't want anyone to take the baby from her, but who would allow a baby killer to keep a baby. Mary is now living in a group home for juvenile girls. When she turns 18, who knows what is going to happen with her. She has always been a smart girl and is determined to turn her life around and make something of herself, for her and Bean(what she calls the baby). Mary doesn't talk much, but when she finds a way that may help her to keep the baby, she starts talking about that night and filling in gaps that the police were always missing in the story. Will Mary be able to walk away from these charges for good, or will they stick?


Promises to Keep by Jane Green
4 Stars
Callie and Steffi are sisters and they could not be more different. Callie is a mother of two, a wife and a photographer, living in the New York suburbs. Callie is a city girl through and through and is enjoying her life with her rock star boyfriend and cooking at a vegan restaurant. At some point in life, things change, and things for this family are about to change in a very big way. Will Steffi see the light at the end of the tunnel and finally decide to settle down her life, or will she continue to live by the seat of her pants? Will Callie continue to live her life with her husband always gone and bearing most of the responsibility of the children?


Beast by C.M. Seabrook
4 Stars

Abbott Savage is very mercurial. But one constant in his life has been his love for London. He loves her so much that he knows he's not right for her. Giving her to his best friend, Kyle. Now Kyle has died and London is pregnant with his child. What is Abbott to do? He doesn't want anyone else to take care of London, but he has so many demons in his past, he's not sure if he can take care of her himself.



Saving Meghan by D.J. Palmer
3.5 Stars
Meghan Gerard is sick. There is no rational explanation for why she keeps getting sick. She has seen countless doctors and she has no diagnosis. Is she making herself sick, is her mother making her sick? What is going on in this girl's life that is making her body shut down. After finding a doctor that may have finally found out what is wrong with Meghan, other doctors are convinced that it's all in her head or her mother is experiencing Munchausen by proxy. What is real and what is psychosomatic?




Before We Were Wicked by Eric Jerome Dickey
3.5 Stars
Ken Swift is a young college kid, just trying to pay his way through school and life without having enormous debt. His job isn't exactly on the legal side, but it helps him to survive and once he's done with school, this job will be done too. When he is working one night at Club Fetish, reminding the owner that he still owes for his thriving club, he meets Jimi Lee. Jimi Lee is a beautiful Ethiopian woman who he can't keep his eyes off of. She feels the connection too and before long they are at his apartment dancing in other ways. Even though Ken is forbidden fruit in the eyes of Jimi's strick Ethiopian family, she can't stay away from him and soon enough, she'll be joined to him forever.



You'd Be Mine by Erin Hahn
3 Stars

Clay Coolidge and Annie Mathers are country singers. Clay is kind of a bad boy and the only way his record label has agreed to keep him on, is if Annie agrees to go on tour with him for the summer. Annie is a great singer, but her parents were in the business and she's not sure if she wants to follow in their footsteps. But when Clay shows up on her doorstep, she feels like she has no choice but to join him. Being on tour the two learn things about each other, they don't like to share with the world. Will this tour help them to find the healing they are both needing, or will it just make things worse.



His Demand by Lisa Renee Jones
2.5 stars
Gabe Maxwell doesn't like redheads or relationships, but when he meets Abigail, all of that goes out the window. But Abbie, as he likes to call her, isn't as sweet and innocent as she may seem. She has a past that could get both of them hurt. Abbie's ex is a billionaire and determined to make her life a living hell just to get what he wants. Gabe has enough of his own money to fight any man who wants to hurt Abbie or her family. But what Gabe doesn't know can hurt him and Abbie doesn't want to see that happen.



So that's all for April.  I have quite a few books that I plan to read in May and I will be participating in 3 blog tours this month.

BLOG TOURING BOOKS:

May 7th:  Getting Hot with the Scot by Melonie Johnson.  
May 10th:  The East End by Jason Allen
May 20th:  The Scent Keeper by Erica Bauermeister (The publisher has given me a hard copy to giveaway, details for that coming soon)

Here are the other books, I have planned to read in May.  I don't think I'll be able to finish them all, but here's hoping!!!

The Mister by E.L. James (don't judge me)

Stripped Bare by C.M. Seabrook & Frankie Love

The Inn at Hidden Run by Olivia Newport

The Guest Book by Sarah Blake

Only Ever Her by Marybeth Whalen

Sunset Beach by Mary Kay Andrews

The Perfect Lie by Lisa Renee Jones

Waisted by Randy Susan Myers

Smitten by the Brit by Melonie Johnson

                                  

Added Bonus!! Here are books that are scheduled to be released in May that I have added to my TBR and look forward to reading some time in the near future. 

The Night Before by Wendy Walker I have read all of Wendy's previous books and I am very sad I didn't get an ARC of this one as I have her previous titles.  Emma in the Night  and All is Not Forgotten

I Know Who You Are by Alice Feeney.  I enjoyed her book from last year, Sometimes I Lie

There's Something About Sweetie by Sandhya Menon  Last year I listened to When Dimple Met Rishi and this book is a sequel.

Let Me Hear a Rhyme by Tiffany D. Jackson.  As you see, her previous novel Allegedly I reviewed last month.  Her stories leave you with question marks over your head, so I'm really looking forward to this one. 

I can't wait to hear about what you read in April, and what your May TBR looks like.  Tell me all about it in the comments below.  

Happy Reading!!!